Oh, you don't need math for this. Try moving a sofa with my wife instead. I think fate/god/the universe/whatever designed some problems that are impossible to solve so that couples never run out of things to fight about
Wow, I would like to see some animations of doing this for sofas going up and over the railings and down stairs. It works better with the sofa upside down.
From the linked video, it sounds like there isn’t one. He says that some of the constants used in the equations defining the various curves don’t have a closed form.